A second chance in life!Blog
It all started with sickness, fatigue, high temperature and developed into being unable to walk and 3 days of half awake and half asleep in an hotel on my Europe Tour!
My life or just a story from a really exciting story?
Thanks for all the well wishes.
I spent the last 3days at intensive care unit in hospital! I won’t share much details but it was no fun and frankly it was close……
But basically I have to take much better care of myself!
At the moment I still plan to keep on modeling after some recovering time!
I will probably also gain a few much needed pounds with in the process . If you are ok with that, I am happy to work and create with you as soon as I get better!
Also a HUGE thank you to those who helped me out via PayPal! Everything really helps! [email protected]
A huge THANK YOU to each and everyone! I never thought so many people would actually CARE about me. I felt overwhelmed with love and support. THANK SO MUCH MUCH! I am Happy now. I truly see life as a gift, since i got another chance and I can finally change and be the person inSIDE AND OUT i want to be!!! AND because my life is never just simple and quiet….i got a huge surprise!!
MAny of you know I have worked on my papers for years. It was a long and nerve racking and expensive journey but I just found out that my papers FINALLY got APPROVED. I can finally say I DID IT!!! AND I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!!
My green card got approved!!! and I am now a resident of the united states!!! and I am so incredibly proud!!! i truly got a second chance in LIFE!!!
I am out of the Hospital and back home in Austria now with my family. Recovering takes time but I enjoy life already because “life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!” I am eating healthy but enough now and I am working out and for those who have asked: no I have no target weight. I want to be healthy, lean and fit and a number doesn’t give me that. And if I do limit myself to a number I feel fat if I exceed it and not healthy if I don’t. So it’s time to listen to my body and stop focusing on numbers. Therefore I would highly appreciate if those of you recommending a certain number to stop that. I know you may mean it well but you don’t know me or my body so stop putting a number on me! Tbh I am not looking for advice here on fb, just sharing my vulnerable moments with you!
Ps and yes I am writing this at 4 am , because nobody said recovery would be just fun either!
I never in a million years thought so many people care about me. Often people I met once, many years ago contacted me. Old school teachers, school friends , make up artists from a shoot years ago and many people I personally don’t even know contacted me, checking on me and wishing me well.
I got invites to spend in cities all over the world to recover and I am close to tears by all the warmth and love. (And I never cry!!) Yes there are also those who say: You should at least gain 20 pounds, then you look healthy. Go back to the weight you had in this image – there you are healthy. The truth is I am struggling with an eating disorder , which caused my severe health problems, for over 16 years now! So although my weight was higher back than I was never healthy. Therefore I find it mind blowing why people think they have the right to tell me 1) what weight I should have (most of them aren’t even clients, or photographers who book me) and 2) know when I am healthy!?
But I try to focus on all the love I receive. Yet: I would lie if I’d say it doesn’t bother me!
I went back and forth thinking and debating if I should post about the event. But since I had to cancel an ongoing Europe Tour I decided to make it public. Also to may warn others and just inform. Yet I decided to not share too many details. I received and incredibly huge amount of people caring but also wondering what was going on. and “if it was really serious?” Some, for sure are just sensationalists, but others truly care, share and want to help.
So for those of you interested and wondering.
I was touring through Europe, as usual, by myself and by car! And I got sick. I felt bad daily getting up due to my low body weight and anemia but I got sicker and sicker. At the end I was ling in my hotel room for 3 days straight, half a sleep, half awake, vomiting everything that I tried to keep down: water, peaches,…. everything and anything. My brain started to not think clearly anymore and it got so bad that I finally called my dad, asking for help!
My dad, my hero, reacted the way he always does: calm and collected and focusing on solving the problem. So he said he would come and get me. I then called my mom, who was incredibly worried telling me I should call the doctor asap. From past stays in hospitals due to the eating disorder I tried to avoid it and waited a little longer. Until I realized I can’ t wait 10 hr for my dad anymore and I got worried. For the first time in my life! so I finally I did call the doctor!….
I was taken to the hospital with a pulse of 42, a weight of 66 pounds, cardiac arrhythmia and a very low potassium and nitrite level, which caused the heart problems. All my blood vessels were “empty” or collapsed as soon as they tried to cannulate! Therefor they put me upside down for 2 hrs to “collect” blood in my head and after 7 attempts by 3 different doctors, they found a vein in my carotid artery and started treatment…..They said they have never had a person with such data survive. And the gambling started from there: Would they put too many vitamins, minerals and chromates in it would cause a brain edema….
I was at intensive care unit for 3 days. The first person who came to see me was my big brother and his wife- a sunshine during these hard times. they dropped everything just to be here for me and drove 3 hrs one way to see me, picked up my dad from the airport an hour away as well: THANK YOU RAPHAEL & MARTINA!
….They did multiple tests every 3 hrs, constantly watched my heart rate, pulse, sugar level, blood everything…..
And just 2 days afterwards it showed that they gambled well. My levels where nearly back to normal.”filled up” again.
Now I have to take vitamins and medicines to keep it up. And start eating healthy and enough again!
I am just incredibly grateful that it turned out the way it did. I am alive, surrounded by love and new hope and a will to finally change and take care of myself.
I know it could have ended in many different ways as well, with a much worse outcome!
Recovery is tough, but worth it! And I have already an exact image of me in mind of how I want to feel, look and act as well as many ideas I want to realize!!
Ready to fight, feel and accept!
READY FOR A SECOND CHANCE IN LIFE!!
ps: and since I had no insurance all support and help is highly appreciate: donate button via paypal: